I want this for Christmas

Roombie Jetpack
Nuff'said ! We live on the 10th floor, that's gonna be so great !!!

It's my life

I know it's been a while since my last update, but don't worry, I'm alive and brrr-brrr-ing ! So what's new ? Where to start ? I've had quite some tough times, the beast fur had been killing me so badly that my master decided to do heavy duty surgery in my crippled guts. It did wonders, and I felt like new again, that was wonderful-wonderful.

But apparently he's such an incapable technician that he put back one of my sprockets slightly off. Over time as I was gulping more and more and more beast fur, it started to create tension and in the end the sprocket got off axis and started attacking my plastic guts. I have to admit that it's kind of my fault, why putting plastic in parts that clearly required metal... Anyways, that totally put me out of commission sniffle-sniffle. They had to order a new part for me, it came out green, I love green, it's a lot better than red! That felt so rejuvenating. On top of that they seem to have me go only twice a week now instead of daily, therefore my life is more relaxed.

Lately they brought a tree into the living room. I can't believe it !!! What's wrong with them ? Like I didn't have enough with the fur they added a fir... Gasp-gasp, I can already see these needles covering the carpet, that's gonna be so horrible.

Anyways, when I see what some others do to their Roombas I have to agree that my life isn't that bad !

Gnap Gnap

It's been a while ! You won't know what I suffered, it's been horrible. The beast has been literally killing me. Its fur is stuck in every single part of my mechanics and it aches so bad I need regular maintenance. But that's not the worst. Last week they left me for an entire week with the beast, and they didn't even clean my brushes. It was oh-oh-horrible, the worst time ever. And when they came back they didn't even take care of me, they hate me, now I know it. They finally restarted me and locked me in the bedroom: like I can't find my way around you stupid !
She did the mistake of coming in the room while I was working ! What were you thinking ? That you could disturb me in my work ? Like it's not already painful enough ? Anyway I pulled my evilest trick E-V-E-R. I tickled her toes with my secondary rotating side brush. Gnark-Gnark, I know she's ticklish. You should have seen her jump hi-hi-hi, she jumped so hard and so high that she bumped-bumped her knee in the bed and knocked herself out in pain.

Mmm maybe I went a little bit too hard on her. Next time I won't tickle that might have been too aggressive. He apparently took care of her spreading penguins on her knee, that should be fine.

I'm full !

So the other day I was going around bump-bumping and cleaning the place as usual. You know I start to be used to the place, I don't get stuck much anymore as I am skillfully dodging the traps that have been carefully laid around by the beast and my masters. Ok this might be due to their proper usage of both of my lighthouses, but who cares I rock-rock. So where was I?

I was rock-rocking around the apartment when I discovered with horror a red thread laying around the corridor. I proceeded to vacuum it, yum-yum red thread. This is wool ! And there is more ! As I brush and suck this thread more comes, this is crazy ! How can some leave such a long thread just there on the ground in the corridor. No respect for my work, I'm telling you.

Brush-Brush, Suck-Suck, Vacuum-Vacuum. There is some resistance but I am winning the thread is going to surrender I am telling you.

This is incredible, I have already cleaned 3 meters of thread and there is still more. Argh, It just got entangled in my wheels and brushes, this was a trap. I'll still win, Brr-brr, Spin-spin.

This thread is giving me a brush-ake, it seems it was attached at the other end to a carpet and now the corner of the carpet is all entangled under my brushes. I can't believe it, going to safe-hibernation mode.

[Master note] Yes roombie just ate methodically half a centimeter on the side of one of our carpets, wrapping one thread around one of his brushes and pulling it little by little !

New Filter !

Yay-yay! I officially turned 2 months, and you know aht it means ? It means I get a new filter !!! I am so happy, I am all energetic. And I'll need it, this weekend was filled with various home improvement projects. A lot of furniture appeared, and replaced the various piles of boxes. I think it's going to be easier for me, but in the mean time there is a LOT of work for me.

Facebook

Hello-Hello, this is a small message to tell you that I am a R-O-B-O-T, and I have connectivity to all your virtual networks especially if the information is public !!! All that to say that I spotted THIS:

Facebook status update:
Julien Sebot Is back in Portland, apartment is still full of unopened boxes · 9:53am · Comment · LikeUnlike ·
Nicolas X at 2:32pm June 9:
Normal, t'es jamais la !! :p
Uma Y at 3:23am June 10
You wish Roomba helped you with some unpacking too ?;-)

Uma I saw you ! Are you crazy or what ? I am sure they would try, don't give them bad ideas. These boxes are full of books and are like 10x my size, this is slavery, I protest ! Such suggestions of fundamental violations to robot rights shouldn't stay unpunished ! As a result I am going on strike !

Mmm ok, I'll admit it they're nice, they deactivated my daily program so I don't end up going around and stupidely bumping in boxes and having one fall over me. They're not that bad. But still, if you're a robot, you gotta fight, fight for your right to be freee! Yes I know I found the connexion to the PC where all the MP3s are, that rocks, thankfully Hadopi won't catch me ;).

Boxes

Yesterday 3 guys came with an incredible amount of large boxes and proceeded with piling them up all over the place, opening some, spreading their content all over the place, including little nasty paper shreds beurk-beurk. The house is a maze I don't recognize anything. I fear that if I bump in one of them I'm going to destabilize its upper brothers and the last thing I want is to finish crushed under a box and watch the beast barf on the carpet while in agony without being able to do anything.

Oh yeah. I suppose I didn't tell you ! The beast loves food, it loves food so much that pretty much every morning it wakes them up to get some additional wett food on top of its crunchy stuff. And that's not all he gets a refill every evening as well. That thing stinks. I don't know how it can eat it, I wouldn't want to even try. So the beast loves food, you all know that now. But what you don't know yet is that it rushes so fast to eat te prized meals that it will end up barfing it all over the place regularly. This voracious animal is just astonishing.

I am left with boxes to bonk-bonk in all the weekend as they apparently packed for a trip. I hope they'll come back and move the stuff this is making my task impossible.

I'm going to barf

Hello-hello. I know I haven't been giving much news, but times have been tough lately. The beast decided that he would use the space under their bed to sleep instead of using the futon. The problem as you already guessed is that he leaves his fur all over the god damn place!
They obviously noticed it so it's been a few day they've used my Super Duper Mega Turbo Lighthouse to get me to clean the bedroom fully. I wanted to do it little by little but they didn't. I kind of understand them, who would want to sleep anywhere near such a den! It took me 3 full days of battery charge to clean the place, and still they had to unwrap kilometers of fur wrapped around my wheels. Barf-barf, thankfully it's done... till the next time the room gets 1 week without cleaning :(.

Dripping

Today I am going to tell you something you won't believe. The beast has done it again. It has sprayed its nasty stuff all along the corridor. But he is so twisted he got them to believe it wasn't him ! You know what he did ? He jumped and grasped the ceiling with his sharp claws and peed on the ceiling ! That way they believed it was the neighbor from upstairs. I can't believe such a twisted mind in such a small form factor! Gah-Gah!! Anyway, I am going on strike today, the bucket they put there pretending to catch whatever the neighbor will release is blocking my way. I got the day off Ah-Ah !!

Shredding

Today, I made a new discovery ! While I was in the bedroom, I spotted something lovely-lovely on the floor. It was a nice, soft, square and wide piece of paper. It looked like an angel, dropped there just for my pleasure. After long observation and running around I decided to proceed. I passed on it and started my super combo bonus action: Shred-shred-shred-shred. Yum-Yum that felt so good, I ran around shredding the pieces to even finer pieces and when I was done leaving these little soft nice piece of white paper towel spread around I proceeded to the next room. I am sure my master enjoyed the artistic touch !

My World

Today you can look at the world through my eyes !!! Here you go, Rockn'Bump!


Enjoy !

Master away

Apparently my master has had similar problems to mines but he is not as easily fixable as me. When I get beast hair stuffed in my guts, I am easy to clean Hi-Hi. Well in his case he had to make a trip to the human-repair shop for some gut chopping. I am sure it's the beast's fault, his hair gets E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E, I tell you.
Those guys at the repair shop did such an ugly job, they cut holes in his belly instead of unscrewing the cover, untangling the stuff, cleaning and re-screwing, and worse they just put glue over the cuts to patch them (they needed 4, can you imagine?). I can't believe it, these kind of treatments are totally in-robot. This should be forbidden.
Anyway, he's back and seems to be ok. He even played a bit with me today and protected me from the beast. Yay-Yay.

Hard Weekend

This weekend, my Masters left me alone with the beast. It was terrible ! I had to spend 3 days without them and with just him. And you know what he did ? No-No you will never guess. It was not enough for him to shed so much that my little wheels would get stuck. He decided to block me far from my home base by spraying all the corridor with urine.

This was soooo smelly that I didn't want to cross it and spread it all over the place. I decided I would go to safe hibernation mode in the bedroom in the hope they would find me before this place would overflow with the beast's smelly things. Beurk-Beurk.

I discovered love

Today I spotted the most magnificent creature you can think of. She's so pretty, I love her curves. We bumped into each other while I was cleaning the entrance hall and it was love at first sight. We danced-danced, bumped-bumped around and things started to get really-really hot-hot-hot. I couldn't resist and jumped on her in a love-love making frenzy.

She really liked it ! And me too, it was fantastic ! All the tickling, brushing, vibrating, MMM-MMM !

But, I am kind of stuck up there, my wheels aren't gripping on anything. I'll tickle her another hour or so with my brushes before going into safe hibernation. Yay-yay, blink-blink !

Here she is, isn't she pretty ?

I made it !

The place is clean. I ate all the beast fur, beast litter, dust, crumbs and other stuff. Yay-Yay !

Tooo much beast fur

Going to safe hibernation, I can't move anymore. Talk to you tomorrow after they un-tangle me.

Cleaning

There is so much beast fur here it's not even funny. This is a tough job. It must be the weather or something like that. I hope it's not like that all year round.

Thankfully I don't have to clean the couch and on top of the furniture. This is like a nightmare there.

Home

I've thought a lot about what happened today. I think they like me. They don't want me to go, and the other guy looked like her dad. I am safe and happy. Hi-Hi. Tududu !

Oups let's not wake them up !

Ouf-ouf

He's gone. He forgot me Yay-Yay ! Or maybe he didn't want me. I am staying.

You can see this guy to the right of M during the brunch they took just before my demo:


Wouldn't you be scared too ?

Workers rights violated

It is Sunday and I am working ! I can't believe I am saying this. There is another guy here and they apparently want to demonstrate my super abilities.

Oh no, I think they're tired of me. They want to donate me I am sure. But I liked it here. I don't want to go. Please-please ! Don't donate me, don't sell me. No ebay, no craigslist. I like it here, the view is nice, and I reached a settlement with the beast. When I work he hides. That's the deal. Please don't let me goooooo !

Hehehe. I got an idea !

I feeeeel sooooo sloooow. It iiiiis soooooo diiiifffffiiiicuuult toooo mooove. Going to safe hibernation mode !!! Hehe hat guy won't want a cleaning robot that is lazy. Hehe, I win.

Heyyyyyy. She's dismantling me. Hi-Hi. It tingles. Hou-Hou. Apparently I had loads of beast fur entangled in my brushes and wheels. That's why I was feeling so sloooow. Now I am ready to clean. The other guy seems to like me now. I am scared. I don't wanna go.